Old Books, Relevant Stories

A couple of years ago for Christmas my mom gave me a big gift bag full of used books from the thrift store. It's one of the best gifts I've ever been given. Right now I'm reading one of those books, a biography on Florence Nightingale. Her life and story and who she was as a person is fascinating. She grew up in a well-to-do family in England, traveled the world, lived a life of ease and luxury. She was a beautiful, educated, highly intelligent, independent minded, "polished" woman. But she was chronically unhappy and unsatisfied. She describes having "dreams" in the strangest moments, like in the middle of a conversation, and compares these "dreams" to the visions a psychedelic drug user might encounter. She was severely bored with every day life. 

Perhaps the most fascinating aspect of her story to me is that she claims to have heard the voice of God speaking to her. When she was seventeen years old God spoke to her, calling her to his service. She spent the next several years trying to determine what "service" she was to perform to fulfill her calling. She finally settled on Nursing and kept her plans of pursuit secret for another several years. When she finally made public her purpose, her family bluntly objected which was as expected, for a lady tends to the home and the attentions of society life, not lowering herself to the dirty work and environment of looking after poor, sick wretches.  With all the barriers preventing her from carrying out her plans to nurse she punished herself internally, settling that the reason for this must be because she was too sinful (bearing a desire for approval and praise) and needed to purify herself in order to be good enough for God to use her. Her story strikes two chords in me:

1-The whole "I heard the voice of God" thing is intriguing. Though I believe that God must in some way "speak" to people figuratively, one might argue that someone who claims he speaks to them literally may in fact be a little mad. I don't doubt the possibility to hear God's voice, but one might argue that such a person may have a mental ailment, allotting them this kind of experience. We name these people prophets and holy, admiring their "gift". There is a comparison though between this type of person who hears voices telling them to do good things and a person who hears voices telling them to do bad things to whom we name evil and cursed. Are not both insane nonetheless? Regardless, I can't help but feel inspired by Miss Nightingale. 


2-What must it be like to have such a passion and devotion to something that you spend your entire life in agony trying to find and once you do find it you abandon everything in its honor. And furthermore, it's the only thing that brings you peace and enjoyment and in it's absence you are on the verge of lunacy. It's amazing how intensely focused and disciplined she was when faced with what seemed to be hopeless set backs. 

Her desire to nurse was not only looked down on by her family. Even the doctors she began to work around when finally admitted to tend to the sick and wounded of the Crimean War did not allow her to help in any way. She was exposed to thousands of soldiers sick and wounded, witnessing amputations without the use of anesthetics, rampant disease spread, arduous lice infestations, piles of bodies fighting to survive in heaps of their own blood and other bodily fluids, with no bandages, no medicine, no food, no linens, no beds, no warmth, among other necessities. And the doctors on the scene were too proud and ignorant to allow her to help. For days she stood aside and watched with a full team of able and eager nurses as countless men poured through the hospital doors until she was finally permitted to assist due to overwhelming circumstances. She was dedicated, not the the profession of nursing, but to the people who needed aide. As it was her first real experience of independence and nursing (and in a terrifying environment mind you), it was the first time in her life that she was truly happy.